Charlie Sheen to Star in New Cirque du Soleil Show

Cirque Du Soleil and Charlie Sheen have announced that they have come to an agreement to create a new live show based on the life of the TV and Movie Star. The Show to be named Tiger Blood will be the first biographical show that Cirque du Soleil has ever done. While Tiger Blood will be in Las Vegas, the casino has not yet been determined, but talks with the Hooter’s Casino have been in the works for sometime.

“I’m delighted to be a part of the Cirque du Soleil family,” Sheen told PaceVegas. “They have a long history of doing amazing productions, and I believe that they can best portray the ups and downs of my #winning life.”

Sheen, who had his crazy and tumultuous life made public during the famous firing of from his show “Two and a Half Men,” claims that he can get his life together for the show.

“My Tiger Blood, even with HIV can solve everything,” Sheen told us over the phone. “I plan to get ready by cleansing my Tiger Blood with a new solution from a Doctor I met on a cruise to Spain.” According to Sheen this Doctor has a YouTube channel and has cured at least a dozen people from HIV with his cocaine-based solution.

The theatrical show will follow Sheen, born Carlos Irwin Estévez, from the start of his career in the movie Platoon to the recent diagnosis of HIV that was given to him during one of his many, many random sexual encounters.

“Portraying Sheen in Platoon will be an unique and fun experience, especially the scenes from Platoon” said Jean-Jean Poutine, the Director of Theater Operations for all Las Vegas Cirque Shows. “We plan to be able to portray the violence of the Vietnam war through having Sheen on a bungee cord, where he is shooting at Viet Cong soldiers. This should be super exciting for everyone.”

Poutine notes that they would have to change a lot of the dialogue, and make it a lot less violent.

“Nerf Guns are a solution that everyone has talked about. We hope that it will not only be visible during the show, but that guests are less likely to be hurt than a real gun,” said Poutine. “However, like any Cirque du Soleil show, there is always a risk someone will lose an eye by a flying kid or something.”

The show plans to sympathetically portray Sheen’s HIV Diagnosis, with Sheen being propelled from a vat of creamy water into the sky, almost as if he is being ejaculated.

Sheen has been recently criticized by the media for purposely exposing his lovers to HIV, and then lying about it to everyone. There is no word if this will be included in the show at a later date.






~April Fools.~

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  1. Pingback: Charlie Sheen to Star in New Cirque du Soleil Show – KDWN | 15 Minutes of Charlie Sheen

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